NAVIGATING THE JOURNEY OF WIDOWHOOD WITH ITS CHALLENGES

The passing away of one’s spouse, either when it is sudden and without notice or when it is strewn with a long term illness, can be a very difficult and emotional experience, bringing numerous challenges. Widows may experience a wide range of emotions, including denial, sadness, anger, confusion, loneliness, and fear. For many women around the world, the devastating loss of a partner is magnified by a long-term fight for their basic rights and dignity. Despite the fact that there are a lot of widows around the world, widows have historically been left unseen, unsupported, and unmeasured in our societies.

As widows move through their own experiences of grief, loss, or trauma, they also face economic insecurity, discrimination, stigmatization, and harmful traditional practices on the basis of their marital status. The journey of widowhood is a long and difficult one. It is a time of great change and upheaval, and it can be hard to know where to turn for support.

EMBRACING THE STAGES OF WIDOWHOOD TOWARDS A NEW LIFE.

According to Kathleen Rehl, (a widow herself) in her book “Moving Forward On Your Own", there are 3 stages of widowhood and I tend to agree with her. These stages are known as the 3Gs - Grief, Growth and Grace. These stages, when fully embraced, transition a widow from widowhood to an independent woman.

GRIEF: Grief is a complex and personal experience, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is a rollercoaster of emotions that can leave one feeling emotionally drained and physically exhausted. As a new widow, one may still be in shock by the death of one's spouse especially if the said spouse took care of money management and financial decisions for the household. The widow may be worried about how she would live life day-to-day especially when blessed with children. Coping with the loss of a partner and navigating complex emotions varies in timeline from one woman to the other with society expecting them to get over it quickly. However, grief has no timetable, and it is crucial to acknowledge and respect the unique journey of each individual.

In the grief stage, it is advisable not to make any sudden decisions, especially irrevocable ones, about finances. This advice applies to both those who had their spouse handle the household finances and those who already manage the family finances themselves. Seek help from a financial advisor or a close friend who is knowledgeable in the area of finance management. Seek first to satisfy immediate needs and not long term dreams and aspirations as these may be clouded by emotions and irrational thinking. There would be time enough to do that when one hits the second stage of widowhood. It is essential to recognise and validate the grieving process, allowing yourself to acknowledge the pain and sorrow. This in itself is healing.

Grief counselling and therapy can also provide a safe space to express emotions and navigate the challenges of widowhood.

GROWTH: During this stage, you are more clear headed and are ready to begin moving forward with your life. Its important to prioritize self care and healing. Engaging in activities that promote healing and well-being can provide solace and contribute to the overall healing process. Examples include practicing meditation and mindfulness, engaging in physical exercise, spending time in nature, journaling, and engaging in creative outlets such as art, crafting, music, etc. Embracing the process of redefining yourself and exploring new interests and hobbies are great coping mechanisms and strategies that work. It is a key step in dealing with grief and allowing yourself move forward. Most importantly, allow yourself the time and space to heal, and be patient with the process. Allow yourself the freedom to explore and evolve in your own time, and on your own terms.

GRACE: — Rehl also refers to this as the “transformation” stage, which is a great way to view it. In this stage, you embrace your new life. Rebuilding a life after the loss of a spouse is a deeply personal and courageous endeavour. Embrace the changes that come your way and adapt to your new reality. Set realistic goals and aspirations for the future, considering your individual circumstances and needs.

In CONCLUSION, remember that navigating widowhood is not about forgetting or replacing your spouse; it is about honouring their memory while embracing the potential for growth, joy, and new beginnings. Navigating the complexities of grief, redefining identity, and finding a sense of purpose require immense strength, self-compassion, and support.

As you embark on this journey, embrace the healing power of self-care, honour your grief, and allow yourself the space to rebuild and redefine your life. The path may be challenging, but with time, patience, and a supportive network, you will find the strength to navigate the journey of widowhood and discover new possibilities for a meaningful and fulfilling life. Remember that you are not alone.

Reference

• Loss of a Spouse: Navigating the Journey of Widowhood. May 23, 2023

https://www.counsellinginmelbourne.com.au/loss-of-spouse-journey-of-widowhood/

• Explainer: What you should know about widowhood. June 21, 2021

https://www.unwomen.org/en/news/stories/2021/6/

•Embrace the stages of widowhood towards your new life

https://www.coldstream.com/insights/embrace-the-stages-of-widowhood-toward-your-newlife/#:~:text=Kathleen%20Rehl%2C%20herself%20a%20widow,help%20widows%20through%20each%20stage