STYLES IN CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Fine, we've established the fact that conflict is a part of life. Truth is, there's hardly anyone who's never experienced conflict, one way or the other.

We all manage different conflicts in diverse ways, known or unknown to us.

Now whether the way we choose to manage a particular conflict, is effective or not, is another question entirely. Also, we each define for ourselves what constitutes "effectiveness" when managing conflict. What are we trying to achieve, per time?

That said, every conflict cannot necessarily be managed the same way, considering we're all dealing with different personalities and dynamics in our own unique experiences.

Thus, it would then be more beneficial to present diverse ways of dealing with different types of conflict when they arise. So, let's examine some of these ways of managing conflict, in order to help inform our own opinions and also, arm ourselves per time.

1. Avoiding: This style involves ignoring or withdrawing from the conflict. While it can be useful for minor disputes or when emotions are high, it often results in unresolved issues that may resurface later. However, if you do find that emotions are high, it's best to walk away for the time being, to revisit the issue at a later date.

2. Accommodating/Compromising: In this style, one party yields to the other’s demands. It’s useful for maintaining harmony but can lead to resentment if one party consistently compromised or sacrifices their own needs. Yes we all are accommodating at different times of our lives or at least, should be. There are those times when we chose to make necessary sacrifices for some friends or family members just to givevthem a break and get them going. Sometimes, we pay less attention to ourselves in order to do this. Yet, it can be debilitating to our own personal objectives. So yes, make the necessary sacrifices but know when to begin to pick your own self from where you left off, and start serving your own self. For instance, we accommodate our babies and make souch sacrife for them, just to wean them. In time, we can then begin to get back on our feet, ( if we know to do so ).

3. Competing: This approach involves one party pursuing their own interests at the expense of others. It’s effective in situations where quick, decisive action is needed but can damage relationships if overused. Permit me to use the word, 'competing', please; it doesn't necessarily mean that you're in a conscious competition but each party's interests are colliding and juxtaposing the common good as everyone is busy doing their own thing. No synergy, no cohesion, not much discussion and codependency. This by itself can kill relationships. However, if one is able to recognize that this is what they have come to, and decide to nip it in the bud in order to balance things out, then that's ok. Otherwise, this method of dealing with issues can pretty much work against you unless it's for a brief season.

4. Collaborating: This most constructive approach, involves working together to find a solution that fully satisfies both parties’ needs. It requires open communication and a willingness to understand the other’s perspective. This here is where we find synergy, and cooperation. This ought to be the goal of all else. So, we do that other method for the time being until such a time when we can mutually collaborate and work together equally, towards the same goal.

This method is mutually beneficial and satisfying.

So, if Collaborating is the method we all desire, what are the strategies that foster this most effective method of managing conflict?

1. Active Listening: One of the most important skills in conflict management is active listening. This involves fully concentrating on what the other person is saying, understanding their perspective, and responding thoughtfully. By showing that you value the other person's viewpoint, you can reduce tension and foster mutual respect. "It takes 2 to tango", they say. It must be clear what each party would like to understood about them, what's important to them and such like, with no ambiguity. So it's important that people pay close attention to the people they're in relation with, whether personal, work or else, in order not to step on people's toes without meaning to.

2. Open Communication: Now the fact that someone is listed, doesn't necessarily mean that the other party is communicating or is even willing to communicate. Encouraging open and honest communication is key to resolving conflicts. Create an environment where individuals feel safe to express their concerns without fear of retribution. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements to avoid sounding accusatory, e.g., “I feel concerned when…” instead of “You always…”.

3. Identify Common Goals: Focusing on shared objectives can help parties move past their differences. Identifying common ground can shift the focus from what divides the parties to what unites them, fostering collaboration.

4. Apologize Where Necessary; If you've contributed in any way to the conflict, it's important to take ownership of your part in it and apologize with sincerity. It helps people push issues away mentally and be ready with a clean slate to start over again. Apology fosters forgiveness like nothing else can.

5. Address the Issue Not the Person: It’s essential to separate the problem from the person involved, without pointing fingers per se. Address the issue at hand without resorting to personal attacks, blaming, generalizing, or labelling the other party. These are counter productive. Staying on the issue itself helps maintain professionalism and keeps the conversation constructive.

6. Seek to Understand Than to Be Understood: Before arguing your own point, try to understand the other party’s perspective. This not only shows respect but also provides insight into the underlying issues, which can lead to a more effective resolution. Your reality should be respected as much as the other party's reality. None is superior to the other. This fosters mutuality and helps everyone feel safe in the equation.

7. Develop a Plan: Once a resolution is reached, it’s important to develop a plan for implementation. This plan should include specific actions, deadlines, and responsibilities to ensure that the agreement is followed through. Don't leave issues unresolved or keep postponing matters and letting them fester or escalate.

Many conflicts could've been avoided if intervention had taken place much earlier. So, have a plan and schedule your actions by date, and follow through.

8. Follow Up: After all is said and done, conflict has been resolved, it's important that there's follow up with the parties involved to ensure that the solution is working and that no new issues have arisen. This step is crucial for maintaining long-term harmony. This of course points to the fact that mediation is an important aspect of conflict resolution, so long as the parties involved are mutually accountable to the chosen mediator.

Conflict management is a vital skill in relationships and in the workplace. Unresolved conflicts can lead to a nose-dive in productivity. By applying effective management strategies, individuals and organizations can turn potential disputes into opportunities for growth and improvement. Remember, the goal is not to eliminate conflict altogether, or to even frown upon it per se, but to seek to manage it in a constructive manner that benefits everyone involved.

So, all the best with managing your conflicts henceforth.....