Rejection

Rejection

Living with rejection and what do you do when it’s a constant in your life.

Let’s face it. We all have been rejected at some time or the other in our live and some of us more than others. But what exactly does rejection do and who do you become as a result of living under its control. Yes that’s what it is! Control!!!

Even more importantly, how do you deal with it before it does any more damage to your already scarred psyche.

When you’re in a relationship (marriage, partnership, parent-child relationship, friendship etc....) that’s toxic and the form of punishment is obviously rejection; and this could be emotional or physical or both; you begin to condemn yourself. You begin to believe that something is wrong with you, and/or you are unwittingly contributing to being at the receiving end.

Rejection and belittling may be meted out by any or all of the following ways.

The silent treatment: This could be by not talking to you for several days or even weeks.

The dehumanizing treatment: Comparing you constantly and unfavorably with other people.

The belittling treatment: Bringing up stories or anecdotes that showcase you in poor light in the presence of others.

The uncaring treatment: Constantly saying ‘no’ to all your needs and requirements.

The ultimatum: Threats to ‘leave” you or end the relationship.

All of these tell you one thing. You, or the person you are, is no good and therefore is not acceptable. Nothing could be further from the truth and while this could make you feel disappointment and depression, (even suicidal!) take away your sense of well being and self worth and hinder you from seeing yourself for who you really are, you need to remember that people who treat you this way have very little to offer and therefore focus on victimizing you in order to ‘feel better’ about themselves and lift their deflated sense of self worth self esteem.

Also the high possibility of the perpetrator being a victim once upon a time is no excuse and still does not mean it warrants any compensation to them!

A healthy way of dealing with rejection is to recognize (doesn’t take a genius to do that) and accept it for what it is: Rejection! And having said that, I urge you NOT to accept it at all and only acknowledge your emotions so you can put them in perspective.

Stand firm in knowing you are who you know you are and not who they say you are! Understand you’re not a lousy representation of their sick minds. Treat yourself kindly and with compassion. Love and care for yourself (you’ll be surprised how much time and energy you’ll have for that once you’ve put your foot down to them)

Start doing some of the things you’ve ‘always wanted to’ but never got a chance to. It’s never too late to refocus your life. I do not say this loosely as I know living under the spell of such negativity can throw your life and it’s purpose out of whack.

Allow yourself the freedom to choose and this time choose wisely.

Now go girl and walk in victory! You were never designed to lose!

Love, Arl