Abuse addiction

Have you ever been in an abusive environment only to find yourself unable to tear yourself away?

That you can’t live without the abusive person and keep going back for more?

That you find yourself feeling ‘disturbed’ and ‘distracted’ when placed in a peaceful atmosphere without your abuser?

Abuse creates complex bonds between the survivor and perpetrator which are extremely difficult to break. The ‘Trauma bond’ is strong and often if not always requires help in getting out of.

Human beings like to feel loved and if you associate the abuse with a feeling of belonging you will mistake this for ‘love’ which in turn makes it harder to disassociate yourself from in a toxic relationship.

Because abuse relationships are often repeated, beware of people you meet who seem ‘familiar’.

Treat this as a red flag and distance yourself immediately. Do not encourage this to develop into a relationship as your yearning (like with any addictive drug) for the ‘trauma bond’ will make you end up repeating the cycle of pain and abuse.

Seek help and support with people who do not judge or blame you as this will further compound your ‘I-deserve-it’ attitude towards the abusive situation you’re in.

Because this addiction retards your personal growth you will feel unable to take a stand on your own therefore you need positive validation and must surround yourself with people who genuinely care for your wellbeing.

Create accountability for yourself so that you don’t make decisions independently of ‘returning to the scene of the crime’.

If you can’t trust yourself to stay away this will help you greatly as you rely on your accountability partner to help you with your goals as they are focused on your success.

Focus on relationships where you can be yourself. Where you can talk, laugh and joke freely.

Where you can express your fears, go deep into conversations, have fun, and essentially feel comfortable being around these people at all times.

Don’t forget to love yourself!

Always remember that people will treat you as good as you treat yourself.

Know, and humbly project that you are deserving of respect and will have it no other way.

Someone could respect you without loving you but they can never love you and not respect you.

Now go girl and walk in freedom. You were never designed to be in bondage.

Love, Arl