Loneliness

Loneliness

We all encounter feelings of loneliness from time to time, but despite the experience being incredibly common, the signs of loneliness can vary immensely from person to person based on their gender, age, relationship status, mental health, or personal situation.

For instance, the stage of life you’re in can have a major impact on the way you experience loneliness; the signs will manifest quite differently in a child or teenager compared to an adult in middle age.

Regardless of the cause, it’s important to recognize how loneliness presents itself among different populations so you can know the signs to look out for.

Signs Of Loneliness

Although loneliness is a universal experience — no one is immune — the signs associated with it are not the same from person to person.

Loneliness among those of various genders, ages, or situations may present itself in different ways. With these factors in mind, it’s important to know what to watch for in yourself, and others.

Signs Of Loneliness In Women

In contrast to men, the signs of loneliness in women are what some might consider as more “typical” but that doesn’t mean they are always overt or obvious, though they may be in some cases.

Common signs of loneliness in women may include:

Discussing feeling alone or isolated

Struggling to maintain or make close relationships with others

Increased social media use

Having a negative self-image

Feelings of restlessness

Experiencing a loss of self-confidence

Frequently doubting oneself

Feeling like “everything” is an effort

Women are more likely than men to report feeling lonely, and studies have also shown that women who have fewer close relationships are more likely to feel lonely.

As a result, the signs of loneliness in women often include openly sharing their feelings of isolation and the difficulties they encounter when forging deep connections with other people.

Some women who are deemed “too” attractive by their female peers may be left out of social activities or workplace cliques, which can lead to feelings of isolation.

Women might use social media to cope, even though it is linked to increased levels of loneliness. Instead of feeling connected, they may experience greater isolation as a result of too much social media use.

Lonely women often have a negative self-image, which studies have linked with feelings of life dissatisfaction, unsurprisingly. In turn, this can manifest as feelings of restlessness or apprehension.

Signs Of Loneliness In A Relationship Or Marriage

Marriage can be beautiful, but it can also be lonely, even though marriage as a whole is generally linked to decreased levels of loneliness overall.

Of course, just because you’re married doesn’t mean you won’t feel lonely within your relationship.

Loneliness in a relationship or marriage often presents itself in the following ways:

Feeling a sense of disconnect with your partner

Feeling lonely even when you’re with your partner

Avoiding emotional and/or physical intimacy with your partner

Feeling unwanted by your partner

Feeling as if you can’t rely on your partner

Actively avoiding your partner in favor of other interests

Changes in your eating or hygiene habits

Not discussing deep or meaningful issues with your partner

Experiencing problems in your relationship either as bigger than they really are or as inconsequential

Not having your emotional needs met by your partner

Signs of loneliness in marriage can emerge in all aspects of your relationship — emotionally, mentally, socially, and even sexually.

As a whole, though, if you’re lonely in your marriage or relationship, you’re probably not feeling a sense of warmth towards or with your significant other.

You might feel so alone that it seems like you’re not even together at all.

It’s important to note that being lonely in a marriage doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed — you can come back from a lonely marriage, including a sexless one.

Likewise, you should know that if you’re lonely in your relationship, it’s likely that your partner is experiencing the same thing.

However, it’s important to be honest with yourself — and with your partner — about what you’re experiencing to take steps towards a more meaningful partnership

Common signs of loneliness in men may include:

Disconnecting from loved ones

Engaging in risky behavior

Increased aggression

Decreased energy and increased fatigue

Feeling annoyed over minor inconveniences

Having a low sense of self-worth

Feeling a loss of “purpose”

Experiencing frequent boredom or disengagement

Lacking motivation or being unproductive

Abusing substances such as alcohol, illicit drugs, or prescription medication

Despite the science that suggests loneliness is common in men, many will avoid discussing their loneliness so they won’t be perceived as “weak” by others.

As a result, loneliness symptoms in men can look different from what you might think of as “typical” signs of loneliness.

It’s particularly important to know that loneliness may show up as aggression, avoidance, or engaging in risky behavior.

Instead of expressing their loneliness outright, lonely men may turn to substances like alcohol to dull feelings of loneliness or they might become increasingly agitated at small issues.

Men have been socialized to express fewer emotions overall; knowing this can help contextualize the signs of loneliness in men.

- Emily Deaton