As I Wait

I love how something God teaches you in one season sometimes is not just for that season but for many seasons to come. One such teaching is worship.

It was my word for 2022, my heart’s desire became that all I am and all I do be a living sacrifice which is my spiritual sacrifice” in view of God’s mercies (Romans 12). We tend to associate worship with singing and music which is a huge part of it especially as modern worship is amazing right?! But the first time worship was mentioned in the bible in Abraham said to his servant “I’m going up to worship” (Genesis 22) and he was speaking about sacrifice.

Here we see worship first as sacrifice which brings to memory Oswald Chambers in my forever devotional ‘my utmost for his highest’ talking about how waiting, worship, and work all goes together even though we tend to separate it.

Worship is all of these things and more, worship is a weapon. All through scripture, it is displayed everywhere.

That year I experienced growth, peace, joy like none before. Working as a full time jewellery maker in the centre of London, I chose to live up to the vision I had been given in the middle of things that could pull me in multiple directions. I made my workplace an altar, as I worked, it was worship to God whether I had an Elevation worship or Brooke Ligertwood song playing in my headphones or not. It was a decision.

I made my flat an altar-washing dishes, baking treats, cooking delicious meals, doing laundry, tending my garden, drawing, reading, the mundane and the grand, my whole life was a response to the great love of our father. All that I have simply because he loved me first.

I decided to not date for three years as a way to get closer to Jesus, to learn how to receive the love of my Heavenly Father and to wait patiently for the one.

As one who grew up without a father, it always felt like something was missing and I tried to look for it in every Tom, Dick and Harry that came my way. I wanted to be so close to God, for him to be my first and only love, to hear him speaking, for him alone to be my everything. I was fully dependent on Christ, still am, even if I fall short many many times, his faithfulness remains.

Right, I thought I had the whole worship thing down, what else did you want to teach your dearest girl father God? Other words have come and permeated me completely over the years since then.

Life has been well lived, I am living in answered prayers, but I find myself still in the waiting. And I have had to tune my heart to truth again because even though it is a new season, I have been

equipped with all I need for it. I learned how to worship whilst in the waiting back in 2022, and I can figure out what that looks like in this new season, hard fought lessons have deep roots. My circumstances could be uncertain, unfamiliar, challenging but there is one who calls me beloved, daughter and I can rest and trust and choose to worship in spirit and in truth because my circumstances would never determine His sovereignty.

As I wait, I become more grateful because I am living in things I was once waiting for.

As I wait, I resurrender.

As I wait, I listen and obey and trust.

As I wait, I gaze at the stars at midnight.

As I wait, I receive all of Jesus and ask that He receives all that I am, all I have.

As I wait, I abide in Him because apart from Him I can do nothing.

As I wait, I sing and dance like David.

As I wait, I bring all of me to the foot of the cross.

As I wait, I cook and bake and go on long walks in the woods.

As I wait I exercise and nourish my body.

As I wait, I do what He has called me to do and become the woman He’s called me to be.

As I wait, I sit at His feet like Mary to listen to Him speak.

As I wait, I paint a picture no one else will see.

As I wait, I love the people around me.

As I wait, I let love hope and faith lead.

As I wait, I plant and tend my garden delighting in dirt covered hands.

As I wait, I produce the fruits of the Spirit.

As I wait, He prepares my heart for what I’m waiting for.

So in this and every season, as I wait, I’ll choose to worship.

Photo Credit: Jess Awaritefe