1- Sensitive Sally - She hides behind “I am so fragile, you hurt my feelings”. Her motto is, don’t tell me the truth. I can’t handle it.

2- Mad Max- He uses rage to keep you from telling him the truth. He intimidates you with his anger.

3- Suicidal Sam- I will kill myself and you will blame yourself the rest of your life if you don't let me control everything about our lives.

4- Larry the liar- you never make a point with Larry because he will say anything to win the argument whether or not it's true.

5- It's all my fault Walt- Walt interrupts every conflict with, “it's all my fault”, to shut down the conversation so he won’t have to face the truth.

6- I stay mad Chad- I let everyone know if you confront me, it will affect our relationship for the next 100 years. No one wants to tell Chad he's doing something wrong because it’s just too expensive to tell him the truth.

7- Lisa the loud mouth - a conversation with Lisa is a community affair because she will start rumors about your attempt to talk to her. Everyone’s afraid to talk to Lisa because half the church will be mad at you by morning.

8- Valerie the victim- she always paints herself as the victim in every conflict. She knows how to build the Drama Triangle. I am the victim, you are the persecutor, and I cry for a rescuer.

9- Bigot Bob- hides behind his race, sexual orientation, or his handicap to keep people from telling him the truth.

10- Betty the boss - Betty uses rank to shut down any conversation in which she is clearly wrong. I am the boss here!

11- Smart Art- Art hides behind his huge brain and tries to intimidate his opponent with big words and heady rhetoric that usually has little to do with the real conflict.

12- Story Lori- Lori tells long stories to deflect conflict that take forever to complete and that are often impossible to follow. Nobody wants to confront Lori because it will take three hours; and that’s the point.

13- Twist the truth Ruth- Ruth always twists how and/or when things happen, to deflect responsibility for wrongdoing.

14- Silent Violet- She just sits in the chair and says, “I don’t know.”

Why did you say that? “I don’t know.”

She refuses to engage because she doesn’t want to risk being wrong.

15- Remember November- November brings up things in a conflict that you did wrong 15 years ago as if they happened last week. The goal is to keep you feeling like the guilty party in the room so they don’t have to deal with the truth at hand. You can’t ever confront something in them because they are still hurting from some failure of yours a decade ago.

(Anonymous)

And in all of this, what I find to be most important, is to look inwards rather than point fingers. Thus I ask myself ,

"Do I possess any of these narcissist communication dysfunctions?"

Mind you, before we go off the handle and begin to brand people 'narcissist', we must agree that someone has to possess a certain degree of these before we can actually officially begin to consider them as outright narcissists; quite frankly, the word is overflogged these days ( I even saw a post once where they claimed that any form of control at all, was narcissist; can you beat that??!! CEO’s too?? C'mon! )

How about when I do see some of these in other people, am I poised to help them better by identifying the problem and somehow patiently helping them come to terms with it, walk away not feeling bad, just understanding that the person in question has personal stuff to deal with that have nothing at all to do with you?

Or what?

Anyways, I saw the list and found it quite interesting as I suspect you reading this will find it too.

Whatever you do with it, please use it instead to search your own self rather than point fingers.

And resolve to do better.